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Geoff Woliner's avatar

It's nice to see someone objectively recognize that the seething Nick Fuentes/Andrew Tate incel corner of the manosphere is a fringe one, largely disconnected from the mainstream bros who enjoy a cold one and bitching about why the Browns will never get it together.

The latter generally love their wives and girlfriends and moms and sisters and will go to the mat for them, regardless of how their idiosyncracies grate on their nerves. The former will die angry and lonely, some in the headlines, some in obscurity.

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RRMM's avatar

I am conservative in how I think the government should be run (a smaller government that is fiscally responsible and doesn't deficit-spend) but very liberal regarding social policies. I am also a very sensitive person and am becoming more comfortable expressing that I am a bisexual man. But I am also very masculine and straight-acting and looking. I have worked blue-collar jobs in the past and have associated with many who could be considered "bros," along with a lot of misogynistic people. I have lost count of the number of times I listened to people express opinions that were an attack against me, even though they had no idea they were attacking me because I hid my authentic self. I have also listened to and watched a lot of the influencers in the manosphere and conservative media. Like most things in our society, it seems people can make a living creating polarity, which is really sad. Over the last several months, I have distanced myself from a lot of the manosphere and conservative media because it doesn't resonate with me. And neither does leftist media, which is equally polarizing. Trying to put people in Box A or Box B leaves a lot of the nuance of humans on the table.

I also deal with women I like and respect very much who say some truly hateful things about men. Unfortunately, I need to stay quiet about my beliefs in those situations or risk losing a friend. Most of our landscape between genders is a mess, and it is unfortunate. There also seems to be a "contest" to see who's pain is more valid. I can say from first-hand experience that navigating life as a bisexual man is not easy, but in many cases, women that I consider friends want to tell me how much harder women have it. Or transgender people or people of color. Why can't I share my experience and troubles navigating life without my issues being brushed off in comparison to someone else? Can't both things be true at the same time? As someone who lives with many opposing views, which are valid for me, without each view supporting the other, I find our current environment difficult.

I understand why men would like to adopt the "Chill Guy" persona, but for me, that isn't anywhere close to my reality. However, there are many situations where that is precisely how I need to behave, and that can cause a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. Ultimately, being the "Chill Guy" leaves me feeling alone, isolated, and unheard. I find many of the "influencers" on both sides of the coin as merely content creators that are unable to see the nuance between indivduals.

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